31 Halloween Jokes to Make You Shriek...or at least Groan!

Gotta admit...I love Halloween jokes...#23 has always been my favorite...but honorable mention to #10 LOL!

1. Q: How do you fix a broken pumpkin? A: A pumpkin patch.

2. Q: What do you get if you cross an exam with blood? A: A blood test.

3. Why don’t skeletons hang out in graveyards? A: They don’t have the guts.

4. Q: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad? A: Because they were trans-parents!

5. Q: What room of the house does the skeleton stay out of? A: The living room.

6. Q: What is a ghost’s favorite food? A: Ghoulash.

7. Q: Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? A: He heard stake was bad for his heart.

8. Q: Why are graveyards so noisy? A: Because of all the coffin.

9. Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries? A: Because people are dying to get in.

10. Q: What did the boy say when he saw the cemetery covered in snow? A: “Icy dead people.”

11. Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

12. Q: What's a ghost's favorite car? A: A boo-ick.

13. Q: Why are demons and ghouls always together? A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.

14. Q: Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? A: They don’t have any body to go with.

15. Q: What does the ghost of a programmer say? A: BOOlean.

16. I saw a skull crying from loneliness. He just wanted some body in his life.

17. Q: Why did the vampire go to the doctor? A: Because he was coffin.

18. Q: What do you call a lycanthrope with no sense of direction? A: A were-am-I-wolf.

19. Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A: Neck-tarines.

20. Q: What’s a phantom’s favorite park ride? A: The roller ghoster.

21. Q: Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party? A: Because everyone was a-goblin.

22. Knock knock .– Who’s there? – Boo. – Boo, who? – Stop crying, I’m only a ghost!

23. Q: What happens when you goose a ghost? A: You get a hand full of sheet.

24. I went to a Halloween party dressed as a harp. The host asked me, “What are you?” Me: Oh, I’m dressed as a harp. Host: Your costume is too short to be a harp. Me: Are you calling me a lyre?

25. Q: What do you call an orange, gourd-like vegetable that is funny? A: A PUN-kin.

26. A kid asks his greedy father for money to buy a police costume for Halloween. His father told him to just go undercover.

27. Q: Who calls the shots at the Halloween party? A: The gHost.

28. Q: Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? A: He was too wrapped up in himself.

29. Q: What did the corpse’s mom do when she got mad at him? A: Grounded him.

30. Q: What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner? A: They gave him the cold shoulder.

31. Q: Who does a mummy take on a date? A: Any old girl he can dig up.


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